Looking for Reasons

For a couple of years now, I've had an uncharacteristically gloomy outlook. There was a long stretch where I really felt on my own, and without the usual comfort of the Spirit. Lately, I've begun to realize that it wasn't God who moved away. I heard a talk recently about being consciously thankful everyday. The speaker talked about praying without asking for things, every now and then. Just giving thanks. So, I decided to start focusing on that more. I began to look for little, teeny blessings. Here's one that I got last week.

I'd lost a couple of earrings in the last few months. Something about the clothes I wore, or the way my seat belt fit, or maybe just that left ear was being weird, but I'd had earrings come out of the hole and disappear. A couple of times it happened at school, but the students found one of them in the hallway. Another time I found it on my chair at home. But a month and half ago, I realized I'd lost one of my very favorite earrings and I was very sad. I'd been to a store trying on coats, in anticipation of going to visit my kids in cold northern Utah, and I really needed a warmer coat. Later that night, I brushed my hair over my ear, only to realize that no earring dangled from the left ear. I was crushed. I loved those earrings and wore them often.

To understand the sorrow I felt, you need to know that when we first moved into this house six years ago, we had a break-in one weekend. We were out of town for a three day holiday and came home to find our door kicked in and the house ransacked. The insurance replaced the television, the computers, and the camera. But the big jerks had also taken my jewelry box. I didn't own anything too valuable except my wedding rings (which I was wearing) and some lovely silver starfish-shaped earrings that CoolGuy bought me when he was traveling through Bali. So, those aren't going to get replaced anytime soon.

But, the real value of my jewelry box is that it contained my sixteen year collection of holiday pins given to me by my students. It had special handmade items from my children, and spiffy things like the painted flamingo earrings I found in Boise when I was homesick for San Diego. None of it was valuable to anyone but me. I know that the thieves would have given it a quick look and dumped the whole thing in the trash. So, I've spent six years collecting a new box full of earrings that I've grown to love, because they are replacing my old friends. So when I started this new rash of earring loss, I was pretty bummed out.

Well, last Thursday, I was out on my patio, cleaning the chairs and the table in anticipation of my son and his wife's visit, I looked down as I moved a chair, and there lay my lost earring. Right there--on the patio---five weeks after I thought I'd lost it in the coat store. But, I realize now that we'd eaten lunch that day on the patio because it was such a lovely afternoon, and then I'd gone shopping. I just didn't notice the missing earring until after I'd returned from the store.

JOY! Seriously...I wore that pair of earrings at least once a week. I loved them. I suddenly felt warm all over. I quickly said a little prayer of thanksgiving, and again felt that rush of warmth. It said to me, "I love you. I can't fix most of the troubles in your life that are bringing you down these last couple of years. But I can help you find your earring. I can do more, too. Just remember---I love you." 

I'm working at looking for more signs from God that I am His daughter and He loves me. I'm looking everyday for specific things for which to give thanks.