In Praise of "Mr." Teacher

Recently, I was involved in a discussion with some people that, before this talk, I had felt were quite similar in thinking to me. For instance, we're fairly casual about our clothing and hair and nails. We're pretty similar in our devotion to music and how important it is. But, somehow, the discussion that day was turned to teachers, and I expressed my opinion that having male teachers in elementary school was such a critical need. I explained that in my experience as a mother, I'd realized how unusual it was for men to stay in elementary school, because it just doesn't pay enough to be a primary wage earner's job. I said what a novelty is is for most children to have male teachers when they're that young. I cited the huge popularity, with the students, experienced by those few male teachers with whom I've worked.

Then, one of the women involved with this discussion, stated how relieved she was each year to learn that her boys (three of them) were assigned to female teachers. Then she didn't have to worry about "anything funny" happening that year. Wow. I was amazed. In fact, I could think of nothing polite to say and so I said nothing. (I know---imagine that!!) Seriously, I was quite startled and really didn't know how to reply, so I didn't. Someone else started a new topic, almost immediately, and no one else revisited the bizarre remark.

I guess my main reason for feeling so flabbergasted was my personal experience. Each of my sons had one or more male teachers while in elementary school. They were great! It was a novelty for them to be supervised all day by a guy, instead of another woman, and then come home to mom. All day---women telling you what to do.

One of my sons had male teachers from first through fourth grade. And that was absolutely perfect for him! This son was rather precocious, and had taught himself to read at age four. He was also somewhat of an iconoclast. When he was a first grader, he decided that everyone should call him Bruce, instead of his given name, because he was smitten by Bruce Springsteen. This lasted for a few months. He even signed "Bruce" on his school papers. Then he'd write his actual name parenthetically. His teacher just went along with it. None of his male teachers needed him to conform, they just went with the little quirks, as long as they weren't disruptive.

My oldest son had a male Kindergarten teacher. This was in a school where there was a lot of poverty, and few fathers living in the homes, and it was an excellent experience for those children to have a nurturing, mustachioed, kindly man who showed up every single day and paid attention and helped them. That son also had a man teacher in sixth grade. Again, just calm and orderly and really appropriate.

There is something about a man who is willing to deal with children daily, in the serious grind that is the elementary classroom. It's a buzzing beehive. It requires so much preparation and so much attention and yet, you cannot be dedicated to your plan, but must be willing to abandon the plan and improvise on the fly quite often. It takes a special personality. I always really appreciate most of the male teachers with whom I've worked. And I really have a special place in my heart for all of the men who taught my boys in elementary school. I don't think that my daughters ever ended up with a man in those grades, but I'm sure they'd have done well, too.

I think children really need relationships with both genders, other than just their own parents. I know that there are plenty of horror stories. I read the papers every day. I've seen the creepy mugshots of the men who've finally been caught and charged with unspeakable actions with children who were entrusted to their classrooms. I just don't know how they pull it off in school. Seriously--maybe I'm horribly naive.

But, it is still my experience that many children in the urban setting where I teach would benefit so greatly from knowing and interacting with both men and women in their grade schools. It helps both boys and girls to experience the different learning and teaching styles, the different personalities, and the different voices even, of both genders in their lives. There are far too many children here whose main interaction with any men at all is only a police officer when they're being arrested at age 14. Maybe we could start paying teachers enough for more men to afford to have that job as a career goal?

 "Bruce"