Attention, Attention

I got a really important letter in the mail recently. At least, the sender wanted me to think it was Really Important. It was from a Really Important department. It even had an Official Looking Emblem on it. Here--look for yourself:

I mean, "Department of Issuance"--come on! Don't you love the serious looking eagle-like symbol in the return address? And the sort-of-official-ness of the government-yellow envelope? And if you don't look closely, you might mistake "issuance" for "insurance"...

Oh, and the inside is quite good, too. I'm informed that this is an Important Notice of Benefit Entitlement and that I must Read This Document Carefully.  And my "Status" is:

Our records indicate that you have not responded to our previous attempts to notify you of your eligibility.
 
I probably failed to respond because none of the other attempts were as ridiculously presented as this one, so I just tossed them in the trash without taking time to make fun of them on the internet. How this for a response?