My New Way to Choose

I was cleaning out pieces of paper from a box last night, in my never-ending quest to winnow and sort and reduce, and this was written on one of them, (it's a book title, I think.)

Normal Is Just a Setting On Your Dryer

 I remember, especially after each baby was born, thinking "Well, when things get back to normal..." then, I'd realize (finally) that this was the new normal and I'd just better adjust. So, for all of us who think that some time in the past was better, or some future period of our life is going to be better or calmer or less stressful, let's all just fix this new motto into our psyches. Normal should be coming from within: we can be normally cheerful or normally irritated. What do we choose?  

Yesterday in church, I heard a talk that taught me how to make this choice. I know that we're supposed to be inspired at church, and frequently I am.  But this time I honestly got a whole new outlook on a familiar topic. Read the scripture in Moroni 7:45. The new, to me, reflection on this scripture about the characteristics of charity was that charity enables us to cope.

Charity, the pure love of Christ, gives us the power to endure all things, and rejoice in the truth, and be not easily provoked. Previously, I've read this scripture and was actually a little discouraged by it. I knew I was, in fact, easily provoked quite often. I whine, rather than endure. I am generally kind, but I totally envy selected people. And so, as verse 46 states, I sometimes feel like nothing because developing these traits of charity is such a challenge to me. I felt that I had to work really hard to become this person so I would be acceptable to Christ--be in His Club of Charitable Ones.

But, yesterday, I got a whole new vision. Christ isn't saying that we must develop these abilities and then come to Him and show Him we're ready now. He is saying that by believing Him, and believing in Him, we can get help from Him in dealing with all the challenges of our mortal lives. His pure love "endureth forever" and by relying on it, and accepting it into our lives, we will be transformed. We cannot do it alone. He will help us cope.

Life isn't easy. Life is often very difficult. And I don't mean things like cancer or tornadoes. I mean dealing with co-workers; talking to your spouse about money; acknowledging that your little children's constant bickering is deeply irritating and you aren't handling it well; disappointments over failed dreams.  But, we can get help in coping with it all.

Do you hope to become a person who is less easily provoked? Christ can help with that. Do you need to graciously bear some relationship things that you cannot change?  Christ can give you the power. He isn't demanding you develop these attributes in a vacuum. He's the source. Cling to Him, call on Him. Do all you can and He'll do the rest.

When the scripture says, "Charity never faileth" I've always thought of the long-suffering, ever-present Relief Society who pitches in and hangs in and keeps showing up. I'm one of those ladies. But yesterday I realized that Moroni wasn't talking about people. He was pointing out that Christ will never fail us. That if we rely on Christ as our power, then we will never fail. The Relief Society probably has this motto because those original sisters already figured out what I finally understood yesterday.

We aren't being told to get perfect...or else...in this scripture. We are being told that we have the ultimate resource for coping with life, and the only way to survive our mortal journey well. That's what one part of the scripture says:  v. 47 Whosoever is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.  It just means that we cannot do it alone. We were never required to do it alone. The whole idea was that Christ would enable us to do it with Him.

But we have to choose. We can choose love or despair. Despair makes me want to give up. Don't give up. Choose love. Choose charity. I'm going to strive for it to be my new normal.