What I Learned

We sounded good in stake conference today. I sang in the choir and we performed the prelude music, then a song just before the first speaker. One song was "I'm Trying to be Like Jesus" which is one of my very favorite songs from the "new" children's song book. I refer to it as new, but I'm sure it's more than 20 years old by now. And the hymn during the meeting was "Because I Have Been Given Much"--another favorite of mine. They are both doctrines I really love. The first is the whole gospel simplified: trying to be kind, serving others, honesty, love. The hymn is also on the theme of one of my favorite scriptures, when King Benjamin admonishes people that they must give of their means to the poor without judging and condemning because, actually, nothing we have is ours anyway--even our very breath is a gift from God from one moment to the next. He even points out that if you don't have anything to share, just wishing that you did so you could share, gives you blessings. I don't know why this scripture always gets me, but it does.

So anyway here's a thought that stuck with me from this morning:

We can't do everything for everyone, everywhere, but we can do something for someone, somewhere.

It reminded me of something I'd read once. It pointed out that some people see poverty, despair and other negative things, and get angry at government policies or societal attitudes or whatever, but they don't do anything but be upset because these obstacles are there and people are suffering. But some people just roll up their sleeves and try and help by donating money, time, energy and helping people. It doesn't change everything--government policies are still there, societal attitudes are still negative but someone got fed, or taught to read, or helped with the money to rent an apartment.

I think this is the real way to facilitate change. Don't wait for the big engines of government, society or whatever--just help someone, somewhere, with something. You never know when a small good thing will be the tipping point for a life. Even just smiling and being patient while you're in a checkout line is a good deed. It helps everyone. It also helps you to maintain a positive attitude.

It brings me to the second thing I learned: we can either be a noble servant or a self-serving noble. I've learned that the first one is the key to happiness. One thing I've noticed about myself is that when I'm impatient in traffic, or in a store, or with my students (or my own little children in days gone by) it is always because I consider what I want much more important than what anyone else wants or needs. It was setting myself up as the Noble. When I look at life as a servant--meaning seeing others' needs as equally important as mine--then I don't have to be impatient or upset when someone is slow or confused or oblivious to the problems they are causing others around them. Most of the time, people aren't trying to be jerks. And even when they are being obviously rude, I don't have to join them there. Every time I do join them, I leave feeling worse. It's never a win for me. Either I say something stupid, or I do something rude I regret. Overlooking rudeness in others is often the very way to disarm them. So many times, people are ready for you to be rude back, because they know what they're doing: bullying. So when you don't take the bait, but you respond in a nice way--it deflates them. And if they just keep on going with the bully stuff, oh well. It's on them. There aren't that many things so important that in a brief encounter with a stranger, you can't let the bully win---go through the intersection first, get ahead of you in line, take that parking space.

Okay, enough of that for today. I really loved looking for important messages today in church. I've decided I need to do this every week. Take paper and deliberately write down phrases and concepts that strike me. Seriously, I know you've done this: left church feeling like you didn't get anything from it. So, I've decided that I don't want to feel that way ever again. It's not up to the speakers to entertain me, it's up to me to be a learner. I'm confident that there'll always be something to learn.