Looking at Another View

I had some interesting insights to a couple of my most difficult students on Friday. Since we always dismiss the students 90 minutes early on Friday and have coordinated team meetings, I have just 45 minutes with each class. We often just do our spelling test or some other assessment, but this week, the last day before Spring Break began, I had a very casual day. There were at least five students missing from each class because no matter how much time you give people off for a holiday, there are always quite a few who take more than that. Anyway, our "job" was to create some simple Easter decorations for my friend who is the charge nurse at a nursing home. We made something for Christmas for all 60+ patients and so I decided to do something again for Easter--I copied some outlines of decorated eggs and every student got to color one and write a greeting on the back, then punch a hole in the end and hang it from yarn.

One child is quite lacking in impulse control. He snatches, he leaps out of his seat and asks later, he has to be first, he has to be #1 at all times and then moans and groans impatiently when he has to wait on others to take their turn. Apparently, at home the world revolves around him. When he finished the coloring part, he cut it out and then (literally) tossed it at me and said, "Here, finish it. I can't." All it meant was that he didn't know the steps to punch the hole, and choose a yarn piece, thread it through and tie a knot. I said, "No, you finish it. Here's what you do." I showed him a finished one and pointed out the items he'd need to do it.

Big Sigh...but then he picked it up and started to try. But--again--it took a couple of attempts, and he couldn't master the knot immediately. Again--give up, turn to leave, throw it at the mom figure to finish. No, I patiently showed him again how to roll the yarn around his finger and pull the ends through to make a knot. After three tries he suceeded. I realized that maybe no one in his world has ever insisted that he keep trying in the face of the impatient, shouting, Big Sigh--almost-a-tantrum, method he employs when he can't get it on the first attempt. Or maybe someone at home would always rather do it themselves because they are in a hurry, or want it done "right", or some other reason that eliminates the feeble attempts of the very young. In my experience, children's ability to do a job is in inverse proportion to their eagerness to do it. ie: a 3 year old LOVES to do dishes---12 year olds DON"T.

So, the next insight was with the Wild Monkey in a Cage: I helped him with something and asked where his mother lived (since I know he lives with Granny and dad.) "She didn't love me, so she left. And that's why I'm so bad---there's no one to show me love. A dad punishes you, a mother loves you." He declared all this in the tone of boy who has heard it over and over. So I said that he'd have to learn how to make good choices some other way then, huh? I don't spend enough time with him to have this new mantra repeated as often as the old one. However, I think I'll say it as often as possible anyway. It couldn't hurt!