Keep On the Sunny Side

Many years ago, I was asked to give a talk in church and the topic was "Happiness" which was quite vague to me. I gave it some thought and wrote this talk. I recently found a copy of it, and I still like it. So today, we go back in time to the person I was a decade ago, and listen to her ideas on happiness.

 Psalms 118:24 

This is the day which the Lord hath made,

we will rejoice and be glad in it.

 

First, I really think it is important to be happy. I don’t mean silly, or delirious or vulgar or foolish.  I mean optimistic, positive, or cheerful.  There is a great old song called, The Sunny Side of Life.

          There’s a dark and troubled side of life.

          There’s a bright and sunny side too.

          Though you meet with the darkness and strife,

          The sunny side may also find you.

Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side, it will help us everyday.

It will brighten all the way, if you keep on the sunny side of life.

This is very simple, but I think important to realize that we can choose to do just that: decide to be a positive person. 

Now, back at Psalms---“This is the day which the Lord hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.”

It doesn’t say, “I’ll think about rejoicing”  or “If nothing goes wrong today, I’ll rejoice” Or “If my children/spouse/boss/best friend/customers---whoever---aren’t really annoying today, I’ll rejoice.” I feel really strongly that an important part of the agency that we’ve been given by our Father in Heaven is the requirement for us to be in charge of our personal happiness. We know that happiness is part of the plan of salvation. In 2 Nephi 2:25 we are taught that ...”men are that they might have joy...” It was as much a part of the plan as the creation, and our mortality.

It goes on in 2 Nephi to admonish us that we are “free, knowing good from evil, to act for [our]selves and not to be acted upon.” It also explains that this privilege allows us the choice to follow the Messiah, or to follow the devil and that choosing the devil will lead to us being miserable like he is. 

These scriptures are talking about our eternal salvation, but I feel that it is also clear that our Heavenly Father want us to spend our mortal life in a state of happiness, not misery.

How do we choose happiness?  By rejoicing in each day that the Lord gives us.  By not living in the past in the many ways we do:  wishing we were living somewhere else...wishing we were with someone else…wishing we hadn’t done something stupid/daring/rude/mean to someone that time (or those many times). The past has definitely passed. When we focus on our regrets or past mistakes we are rejecting the Atonement.  Christ suffered for all of our sins and mistakes. He has taken that burden on Him and you don’t need to carry it anymore.  If you have truly repented of your sins and mistakes, and asked God’s forgiveness, then you need to accept it.  If you don’t allow the past to be the past, then you waste Christ’s gift. In the same vein, if we continually dwell on what could have been, you waste what is now. And if you really understand God’s role, then you’ll believe what King Benjamin said when he pointed out that our very existence is a gift from God; that we depend on Him for our very lives and all that we have and are. Will you waste that on wishing away today for something that is over? Let the past go.

We choose happiness by accepting people as they are, and not expend our efforts in trying to make them be the way we want them to be. The most important advice I got from anyone was when a counselor, who had listened to me complain and gripe about my husband and all his inadequacies and failings (in my eyes) got very impatient and pointed out that I was never going to be happy as long as my happiness depended on someone else changing. I couldn’t change anyone else and I shouldn’t be able to either. And it was wrong of me to think that I should or could. He went on to say that the only way to treat our spouse was to accept them the way they were. They weren’t just potential or clay for us to mold into our desire.  If we acted and spoke as if our spouse was just fine they way they were, then when that person made a positive change, we could just enjoy it and accept it as a gift and not act as though we were entitled to this change, and why did they take so long to make it?  If we accepted the change as a free will gift, we could just enjoy and not have any bitterness, or make the spouse feel that they were finally okay or improved.

It was an eye-opening moment for me.  I realized I’d been living my life as though I was driving the big stagecoach of the universe. You know how in the old western movies the driver would sit up on his perch with all those reins threaded through his fingers, his feet braced, his arms sawing back and forth, keeping those horses in line, being responsible  for them and his passengers, and the gold in the box under the seat?  He is definitely not relaxed or having a good time.  I was afflicted with all the syndromes:  I’m a big sister to five younger ones, I’m a woman, a mother, a teacher, a wife, I come from a long line of people who feel they need to tell everyone what to do!  So, I had to learn to get down off that stagecoach seat, and let go of those reins. 

I stopped trying to control the future.  I started concentrating on today.  I started appreciating the current characteristics of my spouse. I just gave up trying to run his life. Sometimes he did an awful job of it, in my opinion. But instead of giving advice, I just gave love. I did not accomplish this overnight. It was not a smooth upward arc. He’ll tell you. But I gained the perspective that God can give you.  If you truly rejoice in each day, and just live it, and not try to relive the past, or manipulate the future by controlling your loved ones, you will be a happier person.  (Of course, I’m not referring to your little children—they need your guidance—but again-- not your manipulation).

Along with this philosophy of rejoicing in and living in this day, I’ve learned to do as it teaches in Proverbs 3:5. 

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; lean not unto thine own understanding. 
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Instead of me thinking I had to drive that stagecoach, I realized that God was doing it, and doing a fine job, too. All I had to do was ride shotgun—the person who sits alongside the driver and watches out. I started watching out for things I could control—myself—my attitude, my reactions, my spirituality—things that I should be in charge of rather than other people’s lives. We will never have everything be just like we think it should be. There are many things in life that are out of our control, and many things that we think are that actually aren’t. If you truly learn to trust in the Lord and not try to outthink Him, but lean not unto thine own understanding, your happiness will increase. He will direct you.

I wish to end with the rest of the old song “The Sunny Side of Life”:

Oh, the storm in its fury broke today,

Crushing hopes that we cherish so dear.

Clouds and storms will in time pass away,

The sun again will shine bright and clear. 

Let us greet with a song of hope each day

Though the moment be cloudy or fair

Let us trust in our Savior’s way

To keep us everyone in His care.

 

Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side of life.

It will help us everyday

It will brighten all the way

If you keep on the sunny side of life.