Teacher Needs A Time-Out

Well, today was one of those lessons that I wish I had video-taped. Not because it went so fabulously, but because it was so bizarre. It could be a winner on America's Funniest Home Videos, or (since there is no one falling down, or getting smacked, perhaps not....)

I've started this new system this week, after weeks of planning and training. The students are divided into sections. One group is practicing typing on the computers. Really---fingers on the home keys---real typing. Another group is practicing spelling through word sorts, another group is revising and writing a final draft (because we've met together). A fourth group is writing the next first draft, and the fifth group of five students meets with me at a table and we discuss and practice a writer's technique. So, today--it was all about a strong lead (beginning) to captivate your reader and make him want to keep reading.

I showed them a list of strategies, and we practiced a couple of them, by changing a story they knew. We started with a quote from a character; next we tried a vivid description of the scene; then it was a question; after that we used a sound effect. Same story---different beginnings. Then, I went around the table and suggested a couple of concepts to students based on their own writing. But when I got to the only boy in this group, he didn't seem to get it. Here's a little sample:

T:  So, you could say, "As my dad finished parking the car, I looked around. "At last, " I thought excitedly, "We're here at Universal Studios!" [His beginning was: I went to California and we went to Universal Studios and had fun.]

S: My dad wasn't driving.

T: Well, then, say "my mom parked the car."

S: My mom wasn't driving either.

T: Who was driving?

S: My aunt.

T: So, "My aunt parked the car and I thought, "At last, we are at Universal Studios!"

S: Well, we went to the beach first.

T: Okay, but then you went to Universal Studios, right? And you were excited?

S: I thought we were going home.

T: So you were surprised it was Universal Studios?

S: No. I thought we were home.

T: When did you notice you weren't home? Didn't you have to buy tickets to go in?

S: My aunt had already bought the tickets.

T: Well, did you notice you were going through the gates, and that there were a lot of other people?

S: No, I didn't see them.

T: (Teacher is starting to feel a little dizzy by now.) When did you figure out you weren't home?

S: When I saw the giant robot shark.

T: I think I'm just going to put my head down here for a minute and rest. You write whatever you want.

At this point, the four girls who made up the rest of the group just burst out laughing and blurted out: "[boy's name] Good Grief!! She is trying to show you how to fix your boring first sentence. Don't you get it?? It doesn't matter who was driving!! You just write down something more interesting. Sheesh..." They really jumped him, and told him exactly what they'd learned, and what he was supposed to do. I just watched and smiled and shook my head. Those girls got it!

Well, it turns out that this trip to California happened when he was five years old, and he can barely remember anything except his astonishment at seeing a giant robot shark trying to eat a scuba diver, when he truly thought he was going to his house. So, no harm, no foul.

Next time, I told him, try to write about something that happened more recently so that the details are clear in your mind and you can tell a vivid story.  But, I'm not too sure that much is clear in his mind, ever, so that could be a challenge, too. Sigh.