Earth Sign Mama Writes: The Mother "Rules"

Today is our mother's birthday. She would have 89 years old. She was a remarkable person, who gave birth to eight children, helped our dad run the farm, and was a fantastic grandmother to the large group of grandchildren that we gave her. I was thinking today of how she was, and why she still looms large in our family. It think it is because there were a few hard and fast "rules" she had. Not all of the rules were spoken, but nevertheless, they were known to all. Here are a few of which I was aware:

#1 People always want to eat, no matter what else is going on. Food matters.
She was an accomplished cook. She fed all ten of us from her little kitchen, and every meal was a masterpiece. No, seriously...she prepared a balanced meal, every time. By balanced, I mean nutritionally, but I also mean visually. Each presentation was colorful, had a variety of textures, and was complete with side dishes, bread and butter, and dessert. Also, she knew that whoever showed up at our house, at whatever time of day, they would be hungry, and she was ready to deal with it. Inevitably, especially in summer, we'd be setting the table for dinner (the mid-day meal on a farm) and a car would enter our driveway, bearing cousins, or grandparents, or whoever...No problem, set another plate, slice more bread, get out another dish of pickled beets and we'll feed them.

Whenever a family member went to a special event, Mother would always want to hear about the meal served. And, frankly, when she went to something, the food was the highlight for her, too! Don't know why, but I guess if you're a fabulous cook, you always check out the competition.

#2 Always clean up, comb your hair, and wear your lipstick if you're leaving the house.
My mother milked the cows every night until I was about seven years old. By then, my two older sisters were able to milk on their own. The evening milking was done by others, not Daddy, because he was busy in winter feeding hay to the other animals in the fields, and in summer he was irrigating. Also, my mother could, and did drive tractors, trucks, and helped herd horses, and cattle when necessary. BUT...if she was going to be leaving the farm, whether to teach Primary, attend Relief Society (both were weekday activities way back when) or just to drive to town to pick up a part for a piece of machinery, she "fixed" herself. She combed her hair neatly, she changed into clean clothes, she put on lipstick. Despite the fact that she might be just going right back out to that tractor, she wouldn't have dreamed of showing up in public without looking well-groomed and put together. One of my favorite times was Sunday, because she had matching earrings, shoes and purses for different seasons. She was classy looking. She held our whole family to this standard. If you were going to be out in public, you should dress for it. She felt it was just good manners.

#3 Be nice.
She was known as a smiling, cheerful person. She could strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere. When we were kids, my dad would often bring home people who were hitch hiking their way across America. It was the 1960s, and there were a lot of young people who thought that would be a great idea. The only thing they didn't know was, that, when you get to Wyoming, there are very large areas of nothing-ness. You can drive for several hours and not pass a town, a house, or any human habitation. Plus, it gets cold at night, even in July. Many people wandered through our small town, because it was a main route to Yellowstone Park. Whether they had a car or were just biking or hiking, by the time some of these vagabonds got to the highway in front of our farm, they were bedraggled. My mom would welcome them in, feed them a hearty meal. My dad would offer them a chance to earn a few dollars, helping around the farm, or they could trade their service for a tank of gas. But, while they were with us, they could regroup, and then Daddy would take them into town, where a ride would be more likely to be found. I brought home a couple of "long-haired weirdos" one time after high school, when I working in a resort town. They loved our place. They gobbled up the delicious farm food, and helped us haul hay, and then drove off the next day to continue their adventure. My parents had been so kind and welcoming while the "guests" were there, but quietly informed me to not hook up with "that type" ever again. But, my mother was always nice. You don't lose a thing when you're nice.

#4 Hard work won't kill you.
I know this, because if it did, my mother would have not lived until she was 78 years old. She worked hard! She learned it as a child, too. Then, she grew up, and taught it to her children. Sometimes, it felt like we might die, but we never did. She had high standards of cleanliness. Every single day the living room was dusted, the floors were swept, the beds were made, the bathroom was cleaned. Someone had to sweep the porch, the steps and sidewalk. Those "someones" were us children, because she was busy cooking, and doing laundry, and cleaning things that we weren't capable of doing to her standards. When I got my own house, I thought I'd just not be so militant about it. But, I quickly learned that unless you daily clean, you soon have a really dirty house. Oh. But, between the chickens, the cows, the dishes, the bathrooms, the floors, and the dusting, we all learned the satisfaction of a job well-done. And we learned that the world doesn't owe you a living, and if you do something, you should do it the best you can. This was drilled into each of us and, by gum, we've all turned out pretty well, and can take care of ourselves in this big old world. Plus, we learned how to raise our children with these same good habits.

I'm sure others who knew her could add to this list of "rules" but these are a few that represent her life to me. I had a really awesome childhood, growing up under the influence of Carol Haderlie Welch, and I want to pay tribute to her today.