Thursday, July 24, 2008

My Best Crop

We didn't have to worry this summer about the ban on consuming tomatoes because in the garden box, we had plenty of them growing. We also had some peas, and have plenty of basil. I think it is time to plant some summer squash or zucchini, since it'll do nicely well into November.

But, despite these successes in growing tasty vegetables, it seems the thing we can produce best here is: dirt. The composter I bought for my birthday several years ago is just a little soil factory. We keep it filled with grass clippings, leaves, chopped watermelon rinds, egg shells, lettuce that went bad in the fridge, potato peelings, etc. Then, add a little moisture, turn it once a day, and the microbes do their stuff. I know it is hot here, but the center of the compost in that tumbler is is steaming hot from the breakdown of organic matter. It's weirdly fun to observe. It never smells bad, in fact, it is the pleasant odor of dirt.

I chose this tool because I didn't really have a good place in my smallish yard to build a pile. This unit keeps all the untidiness contained and also keeps out any critters that might think a heap of leavings from the kitchen is just a Vegas Buffet for Bugs. (or mice, rats, or pigeons.) Also, if I'm gone for an extended period, and not adding anything to it, nor turning the handle, it just sits there quietly and awaits my return without creating a fuss or a mess. Add water, turn, and it starts right up where it left off. In the desert climate, the main concern with keeping a composter composting is moisture.

So far, we've "harvested" three big garbage cans of dirt. We used up one can when we changed the look around the pool, and planted ornamental grasses and ground cover. I've used almost all of a second one enriching my garden. We've still got the front yard to landscape with desert plantings, and by the time we've saved up the money to do it, we'll have plenty of rich new dirt to use for the transplants. We make great dirt here!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

The Land of Wild Ponies

Many of you may know that large herds of wild horses live in Nevada. But, recently another herd of equines was spotted here in the wilds of our own backyard:


And, they are freshly washed, scrubbed, bleached and combed, waiting to be "adopted" by someone, who will have to undergo a rigorous background check, ie: Are you a grandchild? This adoption will not necessarily be final, but selected ponies may be taken out of state, with the approval of the Bureau of Old Toys Management. We're waiting to hear from all who may have prior claim to said ponies and other interested parties.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Joy Journaling

Okay, cheesy title...I know. However, I read an interesting article in which the writer pointed out the importance of regularly chronicling our joyful moments. That record can then serve as a little life-raft through the bad times, reminding us of former blessings and helping us to remember that, while sorrow is a part of life, joy is too. This, of course, pre-supposes your understanding that joy is a blessing from God, and that He wants us to experience it. So, here are a few joyful moments I have experienced recently.
  • Last night, we went for a twilight motorcycle ride (the only kind reasonable when it is July in Las Vegas) and, as we curved up the freeway on-ramp, and looked over to our right, the huge full moon had just risen exactly between two peaks of the eastern mountain. We simultaneously shouted an exclamation of "LOOK!" It doesn't matter how many times you seen the full moon rise, each time it is spectacular.
  • Watching my grandchildren play in the park as I talked to my son and daughter was a joyful time. The kids are healthy and adorable, my children are still friends with one another, and I get to enjoy both generations.
  • Watermelon: tastebud joy.
  • On my drive back from the family reunion, I put in a CD of the MO-TABS greatest hits and sang along, loudly (and a little off-key now and then). I love singing hymns. I know most of the verses of the standards because of my many years of being ward organist, or maybe just from my many years of singing them. Singing these songs always puts me in a great mood and uplifts me and reminds me of past spiritual high points.

Okay, that's all for today. Think about it--if you write down some of the good times, then you'll have something to read during the bad times that will help you to remember that once you felt joy, probably you can again. It is part of our purpose here in this existence. Joy...

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Doctor Skills

You know, I understand that we all have different personalities, with the accompanying strengths and weaknesses. I also realize that many of the character traits that make a person extremely capable in one area, do not translate to other areas. So, I always give any doctor a lot of latitude in the odd personality realm, because they have a very distinct area of expertise. That is why I am visiting them: for that special ability that enabled them to go through all the rigors of education and training that results in their being able to apply that highly specialized knowledge to my problem. What I'm trying say, in a nice way, is that many doctors are not great "people persons" nor very tactful or personable. Okay, no problem.

My problem with this whole experience of the carpal tunnel surgery and follow-up care is that my doctor is not only NOT a people person, he also seems to be NOT very good at what he does as a surgeon, either. My loss. If you'd like a NON-recommendation for a hand-surgeon, I can give you one. That's all I'll say about him. If, in six more months, I don't have a lot more satisfaction from this whole adventure, I'll go find another doctor and see if there is anything I can do about it. But, I'll never, ever go back to their clinic to any of their doctors. I'm so disillusioned about their whole office. Live and learn.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Family Reunion

My sisters and brothers and I had our 2nd annual family reunion over the weekend. It was terrific! Two years ago, following the luncheon after my mother's funeral, we had a short family meeting, and agreed to schedule a family reunion for the same weekend, one year later. That reunion was also a success, and it made us eager to have this year's. Next year, my youngest sister and I are in charge, and we hope to continue the popularity of our get-together with another boffo event.

Mostly, it just involves food and talking--a totally appropriate way for our family to gather. My mother was all about food. We have been so lucky in that the tall, skinny genes predominate and we could have food be a highlight of family gatherings. (Mostly when we were younger--age changes everything.) My mom was an excellent cook and showed love by feeding people, so you couldn't go to her house without getting fed.

One of my brothers completed a project he started several years ago to honor our mom by videotaping conversations with us about aspects of our lives with her. There were several themes and lots of them involved food. He spent a lot of time on the production, editing it with music and dividing it into topics, and he made us each a copy. It made us cry because three of the people he interviewed are no longer living, and seeing and hearing them again was very poignant.

So, next year, I've decided we also need to focus on our dad. He died 24 years ago, and more than half of the grandchildren never knew him. The rest were so small they barely remember him, if at all. So my goal is to have an "Introduction to Grandpa" theme for the reunion my sister and I host. It will be 25 years since he left us, so it will be an appropriate time to bring his life into focus for the second and third crops of the family. I'm excited to work on this and figure out how to make it fun and informative for all. Yeah for family ties!!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

The Endless Vacation

Have you ever fantasized that you could just go on vacation forever? We began to think we'd done just that, yesterday, as we attempted to come back to Nevada from Washington D.C.

We spent the morning at the Jefferson Memorial, then the Kennedy Center, and, after slowly driving past the Big Pencil again, we headed to Virginia to turn in the rental car, and check in for our flight home. But, unlike most of the visits to D.C. in the ten years I lived in Maryland, we couldn't seem to find the right road to get across the Potomac River. It began to be hilarious. Usually our attempts (Cool Guy and I) to get out of the District of Columbia and head south to Maryland were thwarted by the obtuse road signage there and we'd circle across the river to Virginia, then back past the Lincoln Memorial a couple of times before we'd finally figure out the correct exit to go home. Well, yesterday, I figured this would be easy! After all, it always took such an effort to prevent our inadvertent trips to Virginia. But somehow I kept missing the bridge exits, and we circled the monuments on the Maryland side in a vain attempt to get across the river. It was foreshadowing.

At last, we got to the airport, turned in the car, checked our bags, ordered some lunch, and leisurely waited for the boarding announcement. And it came, and we got on, and we buckled our seat belts, and we backed away from the gate, and we stopped. There are often afternoon thunderstorms along the east coast that interrupt air travel, and our flight to Charleston, NC, had become victim of just such weather. We were informed that we'd be sitting there on the taxiway for a while. But, it was only about 30 minutes. At last we were airborne.

But soon, our 55 minute flight to North Carolina turned into a nearly four hour circling, weaving, bobbing, stalling for time, extravaganza. We were diverted to Charlotte, SC, where we landed and refueled. This was good news to five people on our flight. Charlotte was their ultimate destination that night, so they just got off the plane. I think their luggage had to come the next day, but maybe someone rustled around in the hold and got it for them. The flight attendants were passing out cookies to everyone, and drinks of water, and we were milling around the plane, chatting. After an hour, we finally were cleared to go to North Carolina.

Well, most of us had a connection we had missed by now. So, when we set down in Charleston, the announcement was to check with the airline people right inside the terminal. They asked our names, handed us new boarding passes for the last flight to Las Vegas that night and said, "Put on your track shoes, girls." We ran from Gate A 10 to Gate B 7 (yes, running--our week of hiking through D.C. had toughened us up!) and slid into our seats, and five minutes later we were headed for Vegas, Baby! Whoo Hoo!!

So, when we arrived at 12:30 in Las Vegas, it was really 3:30 in our exhausted brains. We'd optimistically buckled our first seat belts 11 hours previously. Whew. Cool Guy picked us up. (Naturally our luggage did not sprint from one plane to the other, but it arrived today by courier.) He had the hot tub ready, we lolled around in it, soaking our tired fannies that had spent entirely too much time confined to airline seats for entirely too many hours. Then we fell in to bed and our vacation had officially ended. So, be careful what you wish for...

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

School Teacher Tourists

We are now on the eve of the End of Our Trip. On one hand, we cannot believe that it has gone by so quickly! On the other hand, it seems like we have been walking in Washington D.C. for our entire lives. They have laaarrge blocks here. The map will show that from Sight A to Sight B is just a couple of blocks. However, one block can contain a building that holds the whole collection of American history, and that takes a very large building. It is a regular D.C. summer: humid. And today the clouds all went away and the sun was very hot, magnifying the humidity. Whenever we chat with people as we wait in lines, and I say I'm from Las Vegas, they always exclaim, "Oh, it's hot there!" But I say, with no irony, as I'm wiping the sweat that is dripping from my brow, "BUT! It's a dry heat!" And we both laugh heartily.

It is so great to be here! I've been in Washington so many times, I cannot count. But every time I come back I'm thrilled all over again. It is a beautiful, elegant place along the federal corridor. It is a moving, heart-swelling place when you view the iconic monuments or, like today, the original documents of our nation's founding. It is a vibrant, authentic place where you can dine on world cuisines, listen to eclectic music, and enjoy international people-watching. Everyone who is a citizen of the U.S.A. should come to the capital city for a visit, at least once. Politics are eclipsed by the splendor and grandeur of the whole scene.

Just bring an extra piece of luggage, because if you're like us two Mature Lady Schoolteachers, you'll need it to haul back the collection of "really neat" books we've found in the gift shops of: Congress, the Museum of Art, Mount Vernon, the National Archives, the Natural History Museum, Arlington National Cemetery. And we've still got one more day to go!! Ack! We may be paying the over-weight luggage fee, if we're not careful!

Monday, July 07, 2008

Looking For Rod Serling

I'm in Washington D.C. for a week, wallowing in American History with my good friend Teacher Girl. She, like me, came to this career after a life of raising children, and so we have many things in common. We're having a total blast! We arrived early Thursday morning on the "red-eye". We took Metro to our hotel, dropped off our luggage, bought some bagels & juice, and then headed up to the Capitol to pick up tour tickets. The tour is free, but you must have a timed ticket. We had two hours before our turn, so we walked down to the botanical gardens, then the art galleries, and returned in time for our tour.

It is a spectacular building, full of historical imagery, and our tour guide was very charming and informative. And the capitol police have one of the most difficult jobs of law enforcement: balancing their very real concerns for the security of the building and those who work there, and maintaining access for the public--the stated owners and proprietors: We, the People.

After a several hours, we acknowledged the late hour, and our hunger and thirst. So we headed for a food court I knew of that didn't usually seem so far away as it did on this occasion. We arrived, ordered, sank into our chairs and consumed. All that was between us and our beds, those glorious soft, pillow rich, down-covered havens, was a brief Metro ride and a short walk across the street to our hotel door. By now, our lack of sleep, and the trudging up and down Capitol Hill, had completely drained us, and we were operating on automatic.

The train came to our stop. With great effort, we forced our exhausted legs to stand and shuffle off the car, following the crowd over to the escalator, we stepped on the tread and moved upward. We were both thinking, "Almost there, almost there." We carefully hoarded our last tiny sparks of energy so we'd have enough to walk across that street. Then, we stepped off the escalator, walked out of the Metro stop, froze, and simultaneously squeaked, "Where are we?!" I was so tired from the day of walking and not drinking or eating enough, that I couldn't wrap my brain around what was going on! We were SUPPOSED to be in front of our hotel. We were SUPPOSED to be able to trudge across the street, get in the elevator, and then drop into our beds. WHAT WAS GOING ON!!?? We felt like crying. It was a Twilight Zone moment. I half expected to hear Rod intoning as the credits came up...

I realized finally that we'd exited the Metro tunnel at the wrong end, and we needed to walk around the block to get to the right street. But we were so finished that even that seemed like too much, and--what if we walked the wrong way around the block and got further away!?

Surprisingly, we did have enough left to shuffle around the block and we saw the blessed sight of our hotel name glowing in the middle of the next block. We did make it, and the beds were every bit as wonderful as we'd anticipated. And the next day, we remembered to drink more water and eat more often, and it was a Capitol Fourth.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Announcing...an Addition--32 Years Ago


It's too small for you to read, but this is a page from Redbook Magazine in 1976. [If you click on the image and open it in a new window, you can see a larger version.] It is the announcement of the birth of our first child, a son. The writing is my explanation as to why we chose this way to tell everyone our exciting news. I sent a copy of it to Redbook because they had a feature where you could send in your unique announcement and, if they thought it sufficiently original, they'd print it and send you $50. Cool--the money was a bonus. I loved the announcement! Cool Guy took my idea to a guy at work who was an artist-type and he drew the pictures of the motorcycle and the bassinet side-car.
I only attempt to show you this announcement by way of saying "Happy Birthday" to our number one! He is now the age I was when I was finished having babies. It's a miracle, because I am still in my thirties (in my brain) and yet, so is he! Mysterious how that works, huh? I remember my grandma telling me that some mornings as she washed her face, she was startled to see an old lady in the mirror; who was that person?
Anyway, Feliz Cumpleanos to Number One, and many more!!

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Forging Our Chains

Today the Sunday School teacher gave an interesting explanation of a scripture by reading from Charles Dickens. The scripture is Alma 13: 27-30.

27 And now, my brethren, I wish from the inmost part of my heart, yea, with great anxiety even unto pain, that ye would hearken unto my words, and cast off your sins, and not procrastinate the day of your repentance;

28 But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear, and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long-suffering;

29 Having faith on the Lord; having a hope that ye shall receive eternal life; having the love of God always in your hearts, that ye may be lifted up at the last day and enter into his rest.

30 And may the Lord grant unto you repentance, that ye may not bring down his wrath upon you, that ye may not be bound down by the chains of hell, that ye may not suffer the second death.

The teacher emphasized verse 30 about the chains of hell, and then he read a selection from "A Christmas Carol" that he has written in the margin of his scriptures.

Again the spectre raised a cry, and shook its chain, and wrung its shadowy hands.
``You are fettered,'' said Scrooge, trembling. ``Tell me why?''
``I wear the chain I forged in life,'' replied the Ghost. ``I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.


The older I get the more I realize how wise everyone is who has tried to teach me about what is really important in life. I wish I had followed their advice more often. We really do forge our own chains of hell everyday we live. The trick is, will they be weak enough to be broken as Christ "lifts us up at the last day?" Or, do we, in our weak and blind mortal condition, foolishly insist on claiming our "choice" to reject the warning voices who are trying to help us remain unfettered? Are we daily laboring on our very own enormous chains of hell? "Forge" is a strong verb, indicating some effort. Do we work really hard to be "independent" thus ensuring that our chains will be thick and strong from our foolish pounding against the loving admonitions of God via lessons, scriptures, leaders, talks?

I have often listened and thought to myself that I don't really have to obey that because I have a different circumstance, or that I am exempt somehow from this for some reason. Just adding another link, I guess. Recently, I've heard my chains clinking louder than usual and my previous ability to look at my life's choices through a rosy lens is failing me. I see now that I'm not exempt from consequences that were clearly spelled out all along. I just refused to see that the chains would be so chafing and burdensome. Once the lemonade is all gone, you're stuck with the lemon rinds-- to mix my metaphors.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Re-tired

Three years ago, I moved to Las Vegas, and I took my first trip to Utah for a family event. I drove my car north along I-15 and, when I stopped for gas in a small town mid-way, I was lured and landed like a giant trout by the guys who worked at the tire dealership attached to the gas station. They totally convinced me that my tires would not make it the few hundred miles of my journey. Those tires were unsafe and not what they'd want their mother or sister to be driving on. And they cleaned my windows while sizing me up for the kill. I practically jumped over the side of their boat into into the fish-well without a net. I would NEVER have fallen for this line in, say, Indiana or Kansas. But when I got the hard-sell from a guy named "Nephi" in central Utah, I was a pushover. The only hesitation on his part was when I said, "You wouldn't be lying to a missionary's mother, would you?" His head did a little jerk, and as he lifted down the new tire from the rack said, "Oh, are you LDS?" So, perhaps his conscience isn't entirely dead, or perhaps it was just one of those reflexes that cadavers can have.

Anyway, most of you know this story. I had several hours to think, and realized I'd been suckered, plus the "new" tires were cheap imports compared to my brandname ones. When I stopped on the return trip to ask them to return my used tires, the manager immediately caved, offering (without prompting) to return my money, and remount my old tires, without my even insisting on this plan of action. It was the behavior of a guilty man. So, I sat around and watched this group of vipers, disguised as kindly men helping tourists, and noticed that they never approached the locals who pulled up for gas in a large truck with Utah plates. Only old people with out of state plates (my were Maryland) or women traveling alone (ta da), or other vulnerable types, were cast a line with the wiggly worm of worry attached. The worst case I witnessed was the family with the mom in a wheelchair, and the older teen son driving. Big jerks sold them new tires, too.

Anyway, today, almost three years exactly, I bought new tires to replace those "dangerous" tires, finally. I still feel motivated to buy one of the billboards on I-15 as you approach this tiny town and warn motorists not to believe the dire-tire-tale. What a bunch of liars.

PS: Beaver, Utah, 1st Shell Station, northbound side of I-15 as you approach from the south. Go ahead, sue me.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

They Are Covered

There was a sign displayed prominently in the auditorium yesterday to let everyone know that any taping they did became their property, and by signing the form, we were signing over our right to the images they made. I was impressed by the creative wording in their legal notice:

...understand that we may videotape you and use your name and likeness in all media, whether now known or hereafter devised, throughout the universe in perpetuity without restrictions...

So, if anyone invents a new type of media, they can use my image there, too. In perpetuity. Whew.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Pick Me! Pick Me!

Today I successfully passed the written test for the game show "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" I read in the paper that they were having contestant auditions at a local casino this morning from 7:00--11:00 A.M. I figured it would be a popular destination, so I got up early and got in line at 6:45. However, I was approximately #618 on that line! No, seriously. Whew...apparently some people had actually arrived the night before and stood/sat in the line until they herded the first 300 folks into the auditorium at 7:05 to take the written test for the first sorting. About an hour later, those people exited and group two entered. I was #18 of group three. I know because I have a refrigerator magnet with that number written on the back.

This was an important number, because it was my identifier to record on my Scantron answer sheet, along with my name. We were seated in an area where the casino hosts concerts of not-quite-headliners (Coming July 5!! Davey Jones & Memories of the Monkees!! General seating $9.00!) [I actually attended a Dwight Yoakam Concert there when I first arrived in Las Vegas and it was pleasant venue.] Anyway...we heard the spiel about not talking to seatmates, fill in the answer sheet correctly-- questions on the form are numbered left to right, but Scantron answers are filled in top to bottom--and that we will be warned when there are only five minutes and then one minute left. We all opened the manila envelope and began; we had 10 minutes for 30 questions.

There were several options for being picked. There was a movie trivia show--we all took the movie trivia test first. I knew I flunked it as I took it. I guess I don't go to enough movies. There were also options for engaged couples, people who'd brought a photo of themselves dressed in a Halloween contest, and one I look forward to: three generations with a child (12 -18), a parent, and a grandparent. And then everyone else who just wanted a chance at the regular show. After the movie test, everyone took the regular test of 30 questions of general knowledge. All other specialty show hopefuls had to pass that quiz to go on for an interview.

Through the magic of Scantron, they had the results ready in just a few minutes, and the Lady in Charge began to read off the numbers of those who passed, and therefore, got to stay in their seats for further instructions. Talk about tense!! She read and read, and we realized they weren't in any special order, so everyone leaned in just a little--hoping, hoping. Second to last number, "18!" WHEW!! I KNEW I'd come pretty close, so I had started to worry that somehow I hadn't passed, even though there were only two questions I'd really wondered over. We were given a small packet to complete and told to return at 2:30 for a face to face.

That went well, duh--I have good interviewing skills. Plus, I think it helps to have as your reason for trying out, "It would be fun! You get to be on t.v. and show how smart you are! My students would love to watch me and, hey! Trip to New York City!" Instead of, "Well, this would really help pay my student loans." Anyway, then several of us were sent to the back of the room to have an interview on camera. They insisted that your chances of appearing on the show are not increased by being filmed, but it felt fun to do it. We will receive a post card within three weeks to inform us of our status (or non) as a member of the contestant pool.

So, I blew off most of a day in this endeavor, but I talked to some fun people in the line, and if I get a chance to be on another game show--well, that will be fun too! Oh, yes, and the million dollars.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Teacher Learns Again

Life is never easy. I remember as a young married woman, I had a recurring delusion that if we could just solve whatever problem was creating the current strife, then we would be fine and we would live Happily Ever After. Really. I don't remember when I realized that there would always be a new problem. Or a repeat of the Same Old Problem. I also didn't realize that as time goes by, people change, circumstances change, and problems--rather situations--that you could never anticipate, bob to the surface of relationships colliding with the status quo. There will always be something. The trick is learning how to deal with it in the context of your relationship reality. You might wish to alter that reality, or you may ignore that reality, but it is still reality. So, the real challenge of grownup life and marriage is recognizing reality. Then, work with it.

Today, I had to give our Relief Society lesson because my scheduled teacher was off dealing with an unscheduled family emergency. But I don't ever mind giving the lesson. I would be willing to teach every week, but I know that is not the plan. Anyway, our source was a conference talk from the May Ensign, called Concern for the One, by Elder Joseph Wirthlin. He talked about three causes of people becoming the Lost Sheep of the parable. It was a powerful talk that could be given over and over in every meeting in every country. I wrote three questions on the board:

  • Do you ever feel different, or weird, like you don't fit in?
  • Do you ever feel weary, too tired to go on with your life, overwhelmed?
  • Do you ever feel like you just can't understand or follow some of the doctrines of the Church?

As I wrote them, one lady called out, "Are you reading my mind?" Several other sisters laughed and concurred. It was a great lesson. We talked about how everyone can feel they don't fit in at some time in her life: too old, too young, unmarried, divorced, widowed, rebellious children, no children, not enough children, wrong hair, wrong politics, different cultures. But there isn't a dress code (other than basic modesty) nor it there a "correct culture" or official family status. I know what the basic doctrine teaches: family family family--that is an ideal and we can all strive for it, but we live in reality. One mother described how prickley her unmarried-with-a-son daughter has been for years around Church members. Then talked about how loving members of her daughter's ward in another state have helped her to sooth the hyper-consciousness of this glaring deviation from norm. People in her ward searched out the Lost Sheep, not content knowing they had their Ninety-Nine. I've complained in past posts about feeling excluded in this ward. It is still an issue, but to close the lesson today, I concurred with Elder Wirthlin's testimony that God is, in fact, our Parent, and just as we may sorrow for our children's choices, He feels sorrow about ours, but His love and care is unchanged. Each individual human is His child. I couldn't get out of the room from women approaching me with tears in their eyes about personal situations and how great it was to have this lesson. I was surprised to learn of some of the sorrows I had not known about.

No, I can't explain everything that may seem contradictory or impossible in doctrine--I don't have to!!! Lucky deal!! I maintain that this is the purpose of eternity. We'll have a different view then. We'll know what God knows. We'll know the underlying causes of some of life's inexplicable troubles. We'll have the benefit of mercy to temper justice. But I'm really glad I got the chance to be there in RS today and teach this lesson. It reminded me that I'm not alone in having seemingly insurmountable problems in my life. It reminded me that helping others always gives comfort to the giver, too. It reminded me that I continually need to keep my eternal perspective instead of the view that only looks at next week. I get tired of trouble, everyone does. It is soothing to share with other women, even though no one can solve others' life conundrums. But we can cheer each other up.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A Trip to the Past

We went to San Diego last week. Cool Guy attended a UAV conference, so I went for a couple of days just to enjoy San Diego and, hey, free hotel room! He picked me up from the airport, we drove over to our old original haunt of Ocean Beach. As he drove around the edge of the earth on Sunset Cliffs Road, I said, "We should move back here." He laughed and said, "Well, it took you 15 minutes to say that. It took me 10 minutes to say it when I arrived here yesterday!"

So, it is established. At some point, we really need to move back and live by the ocean again. There's nothing like it. The scent, the sound, the birds, the surfers, the shells, the misty clouds--all of it. We parked and stood out on the cliffs watching the waves pound against the rocks, spraying water up in the air. The surfers were bobbing up and down waiting for the right swell. Pelicans soared along, just above the crest of the waves, floating in the air up and down with the height of the water, never touching it, but so close. There were lots of gulls, terns and cormorants. Sigh.

Then, we drove around to all the places we lived while there. All of our houses/apartments are still there except for the little "chicken coop" house where the children were born. I was astonished that one domicile was still there--and occupied. When we were moving into it in 1975, our painting was interrupted by a fellow wearing a badge identifying him as working for the county health office. His goal was condemnation of the structure! He was appalled that our sleazy landlord was renting it out AGAIN! Apparently, the house had been damaged in a fire, and superficially repaired. But, we lived there for about 8 months, before getting an offer for a really nice place from an acquaintance who wanted us to house-sit for her. But, there was our old place, still inhabited.

County 0 Slumlord 3 (or however many over the years...)

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Not the Dream He Talked About

I feel so apprehensive about this year's presidential political race. I saw a man wearing a shirt recently that read "Realizable Dream" with the words over a picture of Barrack Obama. I know how important it is to many Americans that his campaign has been successful and that he is the nominee. It is exciting to me, too, that in my lifetime, our nation has become a place where it appears that race isn't a barrier. Except that this whole thing seems to have become narrowed down to just race. I read an opinion piece in the Saturday Washington Post (which I cannot find now) the seemed to say that if Obama isn't elected in November then America really is just its same old racist self. Here is another opinion writer from the Post with a similar view:

For some civil rights loyalists, myself very much included, it's hard not to feel a spine-tingling thrill. But for a surprising number of others, the overwhelming feeling last week was apprehension. "I knew the real war was on," one friend told me. "Obama had crossed the point of no return. It was like when Jackie Robinson finally made it to the major leagues. . . . Now the gloves would come off, and failure [in November], I knew, would feel like we all had lost it -- all of black America."

These two writers' opinions were jaw-dropping to me. It implies that we cannot look at ideology, or political opinions of the candidates, but that only race matters. If one doesn't vote for Obama, then one is a racist. If Obama doesn't win then it just shows how prejudiced and white-monolithic our country is.

This concept is a complete repudiation of Dr. King's opinion from his famous "I Have a Dream" speech (the anniversary of said speech will be the date Obama will accept the nomination of the Democratic party.) But Dr. King didn't say "I have a dream that someday a black American will run for president and you all had better vote for him or you'll be forever known as racists." He said, "I have a dream that someday my children will be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." So what is the point of having choice if we will be criticzed and judged if we make a different choice than the "acceptable" choice? How can we overturn this poisonous concept that a vote not cast for Obama is an indicator of one's ill feelings toward black Americans? Candidates ought to be chosen because of their integrity, policies, and capabilities, not something the gene pool gave them. These two candidates are full-grown human beings, with experiences, histories of public service, and clearly stated philosophies. They are NOT stereotypical group representatives.

A colleague of mine, who is black, (and with whom I have wide-ranging political discussions) pointed out to me that he despises the trend to treat black Americans as a collective group, with one single goal, and one single needs' package. He also rejects the notion that he should be looked at for anything but his own opinion. In fact, he turns it back on me whenever I foolishly imply that he (my friend) is the spokesman for his race, and asks me to tell him what all "white people" think of some issue. That a black American in a leadership role should, and can, speak for the entire group is ridiculous--as though everyone who is black in America thinks just alike or has the same issues, problems, and concerns. It is an absurd concept and we can't seem to banish it from public discourse.

Are we all this simple-minded? Shouldn't we each raise our voice whenever we hear this being done and knock it out of public discourse? It will be difficult, but there will be no progress whatsoever in race relations in America if we are only permitted to notice is melanin and not policies.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Magic Night

It was such an awesome evening that we could hardly come inside. We ate dinner on the patio, and brought out some ice cream for dessert. A hummingbird hovered in front of the trellis, snacking on nectar from the orange trumpet flowers covering the vine. Our neighbor's son and his friends were jumping their skateboards on a rail in their driveway. Since it was only 83 degrees we needed more time out in it. So we donned the boots and helmets and went for a motorcycle ride.

It's amazing how quickly you leave behind the city when you go northeast from Las Vegas. We paralleled the Air Force base runway for several miles and it felt like that scene in "Top Gun" when Maverick raced his bike alongside the Tomcats taking off. Jet after jet swooped into the air drowning the sound of the Harley. They're doing a multi-national training exercise right now, and so the night will be filled with jet noise this week.

It wasn't even hot. Usually this time of year, a ride into the desert is like a trip through a convection oven. But the further we got from the city, the cooler the breeze on our faces. Well, cool may be a bit of a stretch, but it wasn't hot. It smells good in the desert. The plants are mostly tough and hardy, and one way to protect your scrawny little plant-self from predators or the moisture-sucking heat is to have a pungent resin. At the end of warm day the dirt, rocks, and plants all give off a scent, and it beats the smell of hot city pavement.

By the time we returned, the sky was dark, stars were blinking, and the finger-nail moon was a silver curve over the black mountain outlines. People were sitting in their front yards, bicycling up the street, or just walking in the unseasonal, fantastic, moderate evening air. All we needed was a waft of ocean breeze, and you'd have thought we were in San Diego.

Oh, Beautiful

Driving along the extreme east edge of the valley, I could see the vast panorama of Sin City spread out before me. The west mountains were indigo silhouettes jutting up into the gauzy glare of the descending sun. I came around a bend and Ray Charles' voice sang "Oh, bea-u-ti-ful for...." through the radio speakers just as four jets rose from the desert floor in front of me in tight formation. The Air Force Thunderbirds were practicing their swoop-up and barrel roll. It was a spectacularly beautiful spacious sky, filled with red, white and blue F-16's.

America, America.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Last Day

It was the last day for students in this school year at my building. I word that carefully because I am acutely aware of my friends who are just starting their final 10 weeks (!!) of school at the year-round building I left. I really, really feel for them. Again, school ended JUST in time. No felonies were committed by teachers in our building! I came awfully close with a couple of the boys I dealt with daily. I just continue to wonder how in the world some of the students I've taught are ever going to have a successful adulthood. Probably some of them won't. I mean, I read in the newspaper about people in their early twenties who are arrested for really terrible crimes, and also some really incredibly stupid behavior and I figure that I could probably tell you how they acted in fourth grade...

But enough of that---tomorrow is another day. Next year it'll all be better. I'll be in total control. I'll have some alternative behavior plans. I'll train them better. They'll be easier to deal with. Pigs will fly. Hell will freeze over. I figure that as long as I can wake up each morning and feel positive and optimistic that TODAY will be a GREAT day and things will go well, then I'll keep being a teacher. Last year, honestly, I stopped feeling that way. I knew that each day would be the same nightmare as the day before and it took a lot of work to get out of bed and go to that school. But--this year: everyday I felt like Pollyanna: today will work!! And it mostly did.

So, now I have two days of filling out data folders with information that no one will read next year, and completing reports that are "legal documents" that go in their permanent files and no one will ever look at again. Then I'll put away all the junk, clean off the tops of all my desks, filing cabinets, etc. (By then, you realize it'll be August....) No seriously, I'll be all done on Friday afternoon, I'm sure.

Next week, I'm going to San Diego for a couple of days with Cool Guy who is going to some convention and that will be the official start of SUMMER--first one in four years.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

A Perk

I got a coupon in my school e-mail during May for Teacher Appreciation Month that offered a discount to teachers for many of the big shows in Las Vegas. So last week when our son and his family were here, we went to "Stomp Outloud" and it was FANTASTIC! We took our 5 year old grandson, too, and he enjoyed it almost more than the adults. It was so entertaining and he is a musical kid who is talented at singing and dancing. I highly recommend this show if you're coming to visit us this summer. Go to the link, if you haven't heard about it, and you'll be intrigued. I'll go with you and we can get the "locals" discount at least.

Then last night, for a belated anniversary outing, we went to "Mamma Mia!" -- the Broadway show created around ABBA music. What a blast!! We had really good seats, front and center. The cast is wildly enthusiastic which impressed me since they've been doing this twice a night for six years (!!) and the show itself is highly entertaining. It's closing at the end of this year and so they're offering half-price tickets for the entire house through September. Again, if you're even thinking about a Vegas trip, come before then and see "Mamma Mia!"--it's fabulous!

**Special Notice to Offspring: your parents miss you...we'll take you to see ABBA music...swimming pool season is here...love to have you visit, even for a weekend...

Pity Party

I realize that I've been blogging less lately because lots of the things bugging me are just too personal to blog about. Here's one that bugs me that I'm willing to put out there, but I'll probably sound whiny and self-centered. Oh well.

I've been part of the RS presidency in my ward now for about seven months. More and more I realize that I'm just the third wheel on the bicycle. The rest of them are all "natives." They've lived here for most of their lives--they were born here, or in this region. (The old southern Utah and southern Nevada era was very combined--many family inter-relationships cross back and forth.) Therefore, when we get talking in a meeting, someone will say "Oh, did you know that Sis. Blah-de-blah is a [some family name]? " Then the conversation will veer off into some obtuse antecdote about her great-aunt who dated one of the ladies' uncle's cousin and how they always went to the Manti pageant for their family reunion and how her second cousin married the temple president's brother-in-law Marvin and their kids were all on the same team as someone's grandchildren and now they're all living in a different stake and he was her former bishop and don't they all miss the ward that used to be before they re-aligned all the boundaries? And I'm sitting there not knowing a single soul they're all reminiscing about in their secret "Las Vegas Pioneer Code". It happens so regularly that I no longer even try to pay attention, because they don't care that I don't have a clue. They're not talking to me. They're just talking to each other.

I really have a different personality than them---I honestly don't care about designer purses, nor do I drink diet Pepsi for breakfast. And if I did, I wouldn't brag about it, or maybe if I did, I wouldn't think anything about bragging that I drank diet Pepsi for breakfast. I've never been the sort that lunched--they are. I'm not a fashion plate--they are. But if I contribute a thought, or an antecdote, I get a response of "Uh huh..." and then they just go right on. Translation: booooring. You know--the tone people take with a child? Perhaps I'm just being too sensitive. I don't think I'm easily offended. But I'm starting to get a little touchy here.

I think the main reason the RS president picked me for a counselor is that she liked a talk I gave a couple of years ago on Mother's Day because it was a non-traditional one. I pointed out that I had come to realize how many women didn't like Mother's Day and why they didn't and I addressed those concerns. But the more I serve with her, the more I realize she dismisses me in little ways. I recognize that she and the other counselor have more in common: they're both moms with kids at home. Being redheads, they tend to have similar, very dynamic personalities and know how to get their own way really well. And they're accustomed to being the alpha-girl in their circle. Me, too. But, I'm waaay out-done here.

I keep finding out all the occasions they "get together" as women and families, and have fun, and associate informally. I don't get invited. It's not just because I work. The RS president has a more-than-full-time job with the school district. However, when we moved this time, I noticed that having no kids really made the transition harder. I don' t have a very big footprint in this ward. I go to many events, I help out as often as possible and I don't feel old and out-of-it, but I guess I'm seen as an old lady. I'm just not READY to be an old lady.

Ironically there is a certified Old Lady in our group, the secretary. But, she is one of those "old family" people, and, like the president, has worked in the school system forever and a day. She is a terrific and entertaining person and I like her very much. But, she is very compatible and "in" whereas I am definitely "out". I'll bet they don't even realize they're doing it. (Because they're self-involved to a great extent----oooh just saying that sounds so SELF INVOLVED...) But it makes me think hard now about the presidencies I've been part of in the past and I wonder if I was the cause of other women feeling like they weren't really part of the Cool Group. I hope not. And I definitely am learning something for the future.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

NOT Just the Grammar Police

I've chronicled my inability to overlook bad grammar in public, and my esrtwhile attempts to fix it. But today, I got a chance for REAL enforcement.

I (and many of my fellow teachers) are certified School Safety Patrol Volunteers, with credentials from the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. We've been trained, photographed, vetted, and given safety-green vests and stop signs to use after school. We actually have the authority to stop traffic on city streets around our school during the 10-15 minutes after school when the families are picking up their students. If you don't obey us, we can take down your license and a policeman will go to your home and give you a ticket--on our say-so. Hmmm...maybe they just mail you the ticket.

Most people really are nice, follow our directions, and realize that in 10 minutes, it'll all be over with and they'll be home again. After all, everyone comes at once (3:30) to pick up their children and so it is crowded. Our only purpose is to keep the students safe as they leave the school.

Today, we were short one of our teachers because he was sick, and his sub didn't come out to help. No problem, there are really more than we need at our spot. It is a sticky spot because there are two lanes merging. One group of parents are pulled over in a pick up spot, off the street, another group of parents are pulled over at a sidewalk alongside the street. We alternate between letting cars leave from each place, and I stop traffic on the street so the cars can exit the pull-in-pick-up lane. There is always a long line of cars creeping up this street waiting for their turn to pull-in or pull-over. It's crowded. But, again, if you're one of the family members who do this daily, we all know the drill.

A guy came along today who DIDN'T KNOW THE DRILL. I didn't recognize him. I don't know if he intended to pick up a child, or if just made a mistake of trying to drive up this obscure side street today at 3:30. He pulled to a stop right in the middle of the street, blocking all the cars. I gestured for him to move on. I called out that he should keep moving. He rolled down his window to yell at me--I pointed out where he could pull over to either side if he was picking up a student. No cars could move in any direction. I said he needed to move on, again, and he put it in park, got out of his car and stood up to yell at me.

"You have the whole f*&** street blocked here, g**%$# it!! What do you think you're doing, g**%#@?? The whole g**%&$# f **%*$$^ street!!"

At that point, several parents were quickly writing down his license number for us. No one wanted their kids run over or cursed at by this big scary man. I stared at him in amazement, dressed in my bright green vest that says "safety officer", holding my big old stop sign. Well, yah, we're blocking the street. That's our job!! Just as quickly, he got back into the car and drove away.

So, after we sent off all the students, I took the license plate number to the office and filled out my report for the police. Really, I'd just like to have a chance to sit down quietly with him and ask him if he'd never come up that street at 3:30 on a school day before. I'm pretty sure it was just a new experience for him. (I recognize most of the cars and families by now.) I'm also pretty sure he won't make that mistake again. Especially after paying the ticket.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Severe Weather Alert

I was scrolling over the weather places on my screen where I have listed a number of places where we've formerly lived, and where various off-spring and relatives currently reside, and a little box popped up declaring a "severe weather alert" for Ventura County, California.

I've been in some severe weather there. Once, it got so cold, ice formed on our dog's water dish. This might not seem so bad, but it was a big problem for the inland orange groves where freezing temperatures several nights in a row threatened their crops and almost killed thousands of acres of strawberries. Also, we've had stunning rain storms that overwhelmed the gutters, flooded our patio and had to be swept out of the kitchen, and caused cascades of mud to rush off the mountainsides along the Pacific Coast Highway, closing the road.

But this particular Severe Weather Alert was to warn of temperatures in the 80's and 90's at the beach. I realize that if it was in the 80's and 90's at the beaches, then the inland valleys would be sweltering in the 100's. Many people in Southern California don't have air conditioning. You rarely need it. So, it would be severe weather for people who aren't equipped for the really hot temperatures.

But, 80's and 90's at the beach is more like a dream come true--whooo-hoooo, surf's up, see you later, I'll be swimming. I found it an amusing characterization.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Honoring Mothers

Yesterday, as we cleaned up a post-funeral luncheon at church, I listened to two of my associates discuss the pending Mother's Day service at church. One of them said, "Well, if I hear again the one about how I'm screwing up my kids because I work, I'll get up and walk out." The other one agreed and recounted how it would inflame her whenever she heard that said at church because, as a single mother, who else was there to earn the money? I just listened because I made the deliberate choice to not work when my children were small, even though, for many years, we lived just above poverty in order to pull that off. Sometimes I even regret that I started working when I did, with the last two as teens, because I can see that my not being there at the end of the school day was not a good thing. Sigh. You can't win as a mother. So stop trying to conform to others' expectations.

I've also begun to realize that it is inevitable that your own children will grow up to be critical of you in some way. This just has to be, or they cannot ultimately separate themselves from you and go off and be independent adults. If you, the mother, cannot have failings, then they cannot be released from being children. I know how critical I was of some of my mother's ways, and I vowed to not repeat the same irritating things with my offspring. I've found that they will just choose new things to be irked over.

When I was a young woman, I felt that my mother tried to "run my life". So, I try to not tell my offspring what to do. Then I find out that one of them craves my advice, but feels it is pointless to confide concerns because I do not offer advice. Sigh. I wasn't going to hyper-manage my children's appearance. (I was visiting my mom and I realized that she was really ill, just before her death-- because in the several days I spent with her, she didn't complain about my long hair even once.) But one of my children once asked why all the many photos of them show rag-a-muffin children playing together outdoors, when our cousins' photos are all filled with them perfectly dressed and coifed. (Our dad tended to follow the kids around and capture unposed, arty moments, often at the end of a long hard play day. Most of the cousins photos were posed at some event we were too far away to go to.)

But, it's okay. I've also figured out that we each can only do the best we can at any given time in our lives. My mother was a fabulous mother. When women write about "having it all" they have NO IDEA. A farmer's wife truly Has-It-All: the milking, the gardening, the cooking, the cleaning, the diapers, the laundry, the baling, the truck driving, etc. She was a whirlwind, a multi-tasker before it was defined. She had her ideas of how things ought to be and, by golly, that is how they were done. But, thanks to her, we all learned how to work hard and take care of ourselves and anyone else we could see who needed taken care of, and still have a cheerful countenance and loyal friends. She and my dad really loved each other, and supported each other. And they yelled at each other, now and then, too.

Mother's Day is a mine field. Some years I've been really touchy about the rituals and have felt overlooked or underappreciated. Some years I have been very sensitive about my female friends, especially at church, who couldn't have children, or who've never married. But, their status does not alter the fact that motherhood is an institution worth honoring. As a mother, I realize that what counts isn't how my children act on this contrived holiday, or how anyone at church tasked with speaking on the topic presents their thoughts.

Really, I feel honored as a mother when I recognize the best qualities of my mother, channeled through me, coming out in my children. When they show no fear of hard work, value family relationships, and act in Christ-like ways then I know that my job as a mother has been done well enough and I'm just part of a long, long chain of "good" mothers, even if I still get griped about, now and then.

Friday, May 09, 2008

But Who's Counting

There are only 18 days of school left. Actually, I only have to be there for 15 of them because this week I have three days when I'm attending a writing seminar. It is the follow-up to the four day one I attended two weeks ago, so I know it will be well-worth my time. However it is always a huge load to write lesson plans for someone else to implement, and most of my subs this year have been rather nincompoop-ish. Blah.

It is a hard crowd some hours. There was a boy today who was briefly cowed by my calling his mom in the middle of our spelling test to set up a conference for Monday morning before school. But, really, by the end of the hour, he was back at it again--smartest mouth in the west. Sigh. 15 days, 15 days, repeat and take deep breaths.

Tomorrow is a funeral for a lady I know who was hit by a car. She had a tragic life, filled with elder care, deadbeat children, drug-selling grandchildren and alcohol. She's better off, but I fear for her old father, and I have no idea who will get her home and her stuff. I'm just going to go and pay my respects and serve lunch. Sigh. Just when you think you've got problems, you find out about people who REALLY have problems.

It's starting to be that 80-90 degree weather that is just so lovely here in the desert. The pool is warming up, the tomatoes are ripening, I've got beets and peas and flowers. And in 18 days, I can stay home and clean out closets and put together photo albums and swim all day if I want. Summertime!!!

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Faith, Promoted

You know those faith-promoting stories you read about how someone read something, and it really helped them and blah blah? I had a real-life one today. It was spooky.

A couple of months ago, I showed my RS president the article I had printed in the Ensign (because I was being vain.) But she really liked it and asked me to use it as the lesson for this month's presidency message since it was my turn. She felt it would be very relevant for our sisters. One thing about being published is that the editors edit. In my case, they pared the article down to just one aspect of the topic I'd written about, and mostly removed my "voice". So, I went back to my computer and printed off the original talk I'd prepared for a RS lesson eleven years ago, and I gave that one.

I'd begun to give the lesson, and I started to make a point, and then I interrupted myself to explain why I was giving this lesson. Actually, the RS president interrupted me and asked if she could explain why I was giving this lesson. She showed off the magazine, and gushed in a very nice way about how thrilled she was to be having the author of this excellent article speaking to us today. She's quite good at this.

So, I went on to give the lesson, it went well. It's interesting how the Spirit steps in and helps you to know what to say to people. One point I made was that this wasn't a "formula for success" story. I emphasized that all we can do is our best, but our family members have their agency and their ultimate devotion to the gospel is out of our hands. But not to ever despair, because God is really in charge and we don't know everything. Our peace of mind is knowing we did our part, and that the payoff for good parenting might not even be seen in this life. However, I pointed out, our children were all adults, and still good friends with one another, and still maintained positive relationships with us, the parents, so I felt like a huge blessing was mine right there.

After the lesson, there was a few minutes left and a sister stood up to bear her testimony--you know--first Sunday and all. She was very emotional and could hardly speak. She told how her sister had sent her this magazine when it was published and told her to read this article. The sister (in my ward) had loved the article and told how it was so important to her right then and had given her something positive to do with her really difficult family situation. She and her husband were divorced shortly after that, but the principles in the article helped her keep it together with her kids and finish raising them to adulthood. I was floored. She thanked me for writing it. She told me she was really glad to know me, and happy to let me know how it had helped her.

Wow.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Where Have You Been?

Well, I haven't been to London to visit the Queen. But I have been to the Las Vegas airport (three times), soccer practice, a baby shower, a wedding shower, lunch with my friend, dinner with my son's family, and church with them too, back to the Salt Lake airport, to my school, to a "training for trainers" writing seminar and, whew...home to blog.

This weekend I took a whirlwind trip to Utah to do some of those afore mentioned things. A couple of glitches occured on the trip:
The flight on Friday was delayed by 5-- no--51/2, no--now it will be six hours late...as I waited at the desk and we agreed that they would just put me on the first flight out in the morning instead. So, Cool Guy came back to the airport and took me home for a (very) short night in my own bed before we tried the flying-to-Utah thing again.

As I waited in the security line, I realized, with a sudden lurch of my heart dropping into my stomach, that my driver's license was in the back pocket of the pants from the night before, now lying in a chair in my room at home. The only picture ID I had was my cheerful Elementary School Teacher badge. That (and a thorough searching, wanding, poofing of air, wiping my luggage with the little pads, and two trips through the metal detector) got me on the flight finally.

When I landed in SLC, before I'd left the secure zone, I stopped to ask some officials what would be the best recourse for my return trip--since I really, really wanted to be able to return the next day. [My last experience at their security, several months earlier, had been with Sgt. Anal-Retentive who objected to my careless packing of 3.5 ounces semi-liquids...] They said that there were a number of ID alternatives, work badges, passport, driver's lic-----PASSPORT???? DUH!!! I have a passport. It's in my purse. The one that was wanded and swiped and poofed and x-rayed. So, I just flashed that on my return trip and voila--no questions.

While on my 36 hour adventure, I did all those other things too. It was very fun, and is the reason why I made the big move from East to West--family milestones, and fun weekends with the grandchildren participating in their ordinary lives.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

My Child, Right or Wrong

We had another one of those incidents at school yesterday and today when I wonder about parents who don't realize that this child is their kid for the rest of their lives, and decisions they make about misdeeds have long-term consequences. I'm not going to be involved ever again in 29 more days. Thank goodness.

This has happened to me before, years ago. A child yells obscenities at some other kid, or tells a huge lie that gets other people in big trouble (some adults in this event). Then the child gets ratted out by a whole variety of other children who are astounded or frightened or offended. The perpetrator is called on the carpet, evidence presented, the child--no longer credible---tearfully confesses, writes apologies, tells everyone they are sorry. But the situation requires parental notification because part of the consequence involves some loss of privileges at school and, well, it was horrible behavior and parents should be involved.

Then, the student goes home and--incredibly--convinces the parents that he/she didn't really do it at all. Everyone else lied, the teacher, the kids, the principal--everyone! And the parents come back to school and defend the child and insist that the child does not deserve the consequences, why are people always lying about their kid, what is the consequence for the other kids who lied, how can this teacher continue to be maligning my child only...etc.

It blows my mind. It isn't just poverty kids, either. If parents do this enough times, then what do they expect when this child is a teenager and the results of the misdeeds are far more than lost recesses? Do they realize that sometimes their child makes bad choices? It's normal. Dealing with it at nine years old is so much easier than when it involves the police and lawyers or unwed parenthood or expulsion. Sigh...I've raised kids. It isn't easy. But when your child is wrong, it's okay to support the learning process of natural consequences. And any child can be wrong sometimes.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Odd Maladies

I found a new, unusual malady this weekend. In the process, I realized that I have completely rejected my well-meaning doctor's advice. But part of this is because perhaps I chose the wrong specialist to go to with my complaint.

On Sunday, a week ago, I began to experience pain in my left knee. It was aching, and especially so when I got down on the floor where I often sit and do school work, or put together photo albums, or other projects where I like to spread out. By Monday evening, my leg hurt very badly, but only if I crouched down, or climbed stairs. It didn't hurt to stand, or walk on flat ground. By Wednesday at noon, my leg was swollen tight in my slacks. It was obvious to my co-workers, and the school nurse nearly forced me out the door to the doctor. But I waited until after school to go. Again, the pain was mostly from blood constriction and so was really only painful when I knelt, crouched or any other activity that bent my knee with weight on it.

The doctor at the walk-in clinic listened to me, checked it out, called ahead and sent me straight to the ER for a sonogram to check for bloodclots. That was my thought too. However, no bloodclots! I hobbled through the day Thursday, then Friday I left school early for an appointment at the ortho clinic.

No, it didn't hurt when he did this, or that, or that thing either. An x-ray pronounced my joints to totally free of arthritis ("They are the knees of an 18 year old." I'm glad Trish can't read this--she'd have been jealous.) So, I think he felt compelled to make a diagnosis, and it was iliotibial band syndrome. He prescribed PT for 6 weeks and ice and ibuprofen.

That night I looked it up and read all about it. Hey! It is something that almost exclusively affects long-distance runners or other faithful joggers/runners. Well, that's definitely NOT me. So I kept researching knee pain all the while my stupid knee is feeling better and better.

On Saturday, I had a job at Primary Activity Day, and I spent part of my time sitting on the floor working with my little groups in the rotation. Up and down, scrunched all up--no knee pain at all! The knee is fine, no swelling, no pain. Hmmm.

Here's what I've self-diagnosed: pseudogout. Yes, it fits everything. It is similar to my annoying hip, and I have all the right symptoms. The cure/treatment? None...But next time my knee swells up ridiculously for NO REASON AT ALL, and I limp on it for a few days, I will relax because I know that it will also resolve itself after a while, just like that.

I'm not disrepecting my ortho doctor at all in ignoring his diagnosis, but I'm also not going to blow six weeks on PT for a condition that doesn't exist. So, I'll just find an immunologist, get a blood test for the calcium and check my parathyroid and we'll see what's up. Weird body...

Monday, April 14, 2008

Torture by Tedium

We had an "inservice" day today: teachers come to school for training, students stay at home. I just don't know where principals find these people. Actually, I think the woman "training" us today works for the district. She's come to our school a number of times. It is excruciating to sit through her presentations. I'm sure she means well, and I'm sure she's highly educated, and I'm confidant that her data and research are all spot on. However...her speaking style and presentation style is deeply irritating, and not just to me. The only thing that saved us is that she was only responsible for 90 minutes of our time today. But it brought home to me something one of my co-workers said earlier.

She told me how, when finding out she was a teacher, people would ask her why we had several of these days each year when the students stayed home and the teachers came to the school. (It was asked because they were peeved about having to provide other arrangements for their children since the free babysitting by college graduates wasn't available.) My colleague replied, "It is so we teachers can be reminded periodically how it is EVERYDAY for our students: trapped in a chair, forced to listen to someone drone on, no choice in the matter."

I thought that was very astute, and I was especially struck by it today when we came back from a bathroom break to find that lady setting up her presentation--utter dismay, uggh-how long will it last? Blah. So, I'll try harder than ever to make my classroom a place where students don't come in the door thinking, "Blah, her again...how long will this last?"

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Long Time--No See

I guess one main reason I haven't been bloggging is that my right hand is still very sore, and it hurts to type. My palm wound is irritated by the edge of the keyboard. Also, I've just had so little free time that I didn't use it blogging--I read the paper or slept. So here are some random thoughts:

We put up chicken wire fences (or cercas de gallinero) along the rows of peas in the garden yesterday. This morning I went out to look how things were doing, and, just as planned, the pea tendrils were curling around the wire for support as they grow up higher and higher. What struck me was: how do the faceless, eyeless pea plants know there is a fence there for them to curl their stringy tendrils around for support? Do they have nerve endings? Do they have some sort of primitive nervous system that senses the proximity of the fencing? Does this mean that they scream (silently of course, since they also don't have mouths) when you pick the pea pods? Maybe I'll just stick to tomatoes and beets in the future.

"La mano derecha me deule, la mano izquierda no me duele. " See what I've learned in my Reality Spanish class? I can tell you that the hand on the right hurts me, but the hand on the left does not hurt me. It was a thrill for my ELL students to hear me discuss my health with them en Espanol. This class ends on Tuesday and it will be a relief, because I've had an obligation every M-T-W since January because of this class (other things are sucking off my M & W) so I'll be glad to be finished with it. I have learned an amazing amount of things, however, and I'm really glad I took it. I must work on it regularly so I can retain what's there.

The weather here has become fantastic. Everyday it is just the right amount of warm--80 degrees. It cools off pleasantly at night. The pool water is warming daily. The sky is clear, and sunset and sunrise are simply exotic with the deep indigo sky illuminated around the edge with gold, hightlighting the black silhouettes of the palm trees and jagged mountains in relief on all sides. Wow. Spring in the desert.

We had a delightful visit from two of the grandchildren for a few days. We played in sand, splashed in the "little pool", and repotted plants. We went for a walk in the desert and looked at ants and spiders with the magnifying glass. We just lived the routine of a 2 and 4 year old for five days. I realize now why humans should be young when we reproduce---it is only then that we enough energy to keep up with tiny people.

I am booked for a trip to SLC in two weeks. While there for a day, I will attend a bridal shower, a baby shower, and a folk dance program in which our other grandchild is participating. Fun Times!!

Thursday, April 03, 2008

First Swim

Today, I jumped in the pool. It was 69 degrees, but entirely tolerable. I think the ocean at Port Hueneme was colder than that most of the time when we'd take our early morning swim.

We have two of the grandchildren visiting this week, and the "little" pool is a popular place. Cool Guy heats up the hot tub to around 97 and gets in with S-Boogie and they play until they're both pruned. Today, I took one of my personal days off from school and so I was home all day to join them. We wanted an object that was floating in the "big" pool, so I just jumped in to retrieve it. I hadn't actually been in the "little" pool long enough to be all warmed up and the water in the "big" pool wasn't that bad. I swam laps for about 10 minutes and then got back into the spa. Which felt very nice in contrast. But, I'll swim again tomorrow, because each day, it just keeps getting a degree or two closer to fabulous. The secret is the amount of time the sun shines on the masonry around the pool warming it up. Also, the fact that it no longer cools off much at night. Our temperatures travel between 50 and 75 these days, so the warmth in the ground keeps the pool water warm. This winter I checked the pool temperature after I'd been circulating the filters and it was 47, brrrrrrrrrrrr.
Summer is a'commin'.

Monday, March 31, 2008

I Have Two Little Hands

Actually these two hands are rather large and gangly and ever so useful for milking cows and changing diapers and gardening and writing on a chalkboard. But--they are a team again. They are required to be a careful, gentle team: no soaking in water until two more days so the holes can heal where the stitches were. And wear a big bandaid for a couple of days. No lifting anything over two pounds for one week, then nothing over five pounds for a second week. And my palm looks like Dr. Frankenstein worked on me. Maybe I'll show my students tomorrow. Fourth graders love gory stuff.

But! I can shampoo my own hair, and wash by using both of my palms, also apply lotion! I do have to thank Cool Guy for the shampooing help. He has a gentle touch and could moonlight at a salon if things get tight.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

My Left Hand--(Not Starring Daniel Day Lewis)

Myleft hand is tired. For over a half a century it got a free ride there on the end of my arm. But for the last ten days it has been called into service for which it is entirely unprepared.
  • It cannot brush teeth. I've finally resorted to an electric toothbrush.
  • It cannot hold a fork properly. I eat most of my food without the fork as a result.
  • It cannot use a curling iron without dropping it onto my forehead repeatedly.
  • It cannot cut an orange--this requires down, and back and forth, simultaneously.
  • It cannot open a jar by itself--to be fair, I don't think the right hand could either, but the left hand is particularly puny when it come to any lid of any container, including the butter tub--duh.

But, it has acquired a few skills:

  • It can zip my pants and fasten the button of jeans.
  • It can use the computer mouse if I put it on the left side of the keyboard.
  • It can turn the key in the lock of the front door.

By the time this miserable bandage is removed on Monday, I'm afraid I'll need physical therapy to help my left hand and the entire arm recover from its sudden thrust into the spotlight. For sure my brain is going to need therapy to recover from the sudden need to reprogram my poor left hand.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Death Valley Day

By Wednesday, I got so bored hanging around the house trying to avoid using my right hand, that Cool Guy agreed to a trip over the border to Death Valley.

{Note: on Monday this week I had carpal tunnel surgery done on my right hand and so I'm typing this with my left hand...mostly.}

It is only about three hours drive to the national park from here so it was a leisurely day. We planned a stay at Tecopa Hot Springs in one of their little cabins so we wouldn't have to go all the back in one day and, again, we had a really nice visit there. Tecopa is a weird place--truly just a wide spot in the road--there is one restaurant in another wide spot ten miles up the road. Other than that, it is an hour's drive to the nearest town with any other restaurant or store or anything. But the "waters" are lovely. Everytime we go, there are several Japanese couples also visiting for the theraputic benefits for which the hot springs are internationally known.

Death Valley--to use a fourth grade adjective--is cool. The air temperature was 85, and therefore bearable the day before the vernal equinox--you can hardly get any spring-ier than that! By summer it will be a blast furnace. The place itself is very interesting. If you're not intrigued by geology, don't bother. However, if rocks and the formation of the earth with its attendant geothermal anomalies and breccia and mineral deposits and uplifts and sedimentation and fault lines are just up your alley, then COME ON DOWN! Death Valley has it all.

We kept wondering aloud about the dismay of those poor early settlers just wanting to get to California who mistakenly ended up trying to cross this piece of forsaken territory. It's quite clear when you finally get over the eastern mountains into the basin that leaving won't be easy. The mountains on the western rim soar from the floor straight up 11,000 feet. There are no foothills and no obvious passes. The rivers that flow into Death Valley just sink into the earth and then bubble up elsewhere in its vastness bringing mineral deposits with them that turn any pond into a brackish salt-rimmed pool where only small organisms more suited for the ocean can live. And Death Valley is very long, north to south, so just gutting it out and walking either of those directions isn't exactly easy either. But it was the only way to leave.

At the visitor's center there's a motto coined by the 19th century people who passed through:
20 miles from wood, 20 miles from water, 40 feet from Hell
Yup. But, in a modern conveyance, with air conditioning, water bottles, and our sunscreen, we had a lovely day in Hell. So did hordes of other visitors, and it was interesting to listen to their conversations, many of which were conducted in a variety of languages I do not speak or understand. It was an international day in one of America's most unique National Parks. We heard Italian, Portuguese, French, Spanish, Japanese, Hebrew, and a Slavic language I did not recognize and didn't feel brazen enough to ask its speakers to identify. (Imagine! me---shy...) Here are some photos, which will do more credit to the scenery than my description.


This sign at the entrance points out that the Timbasha Shoshone live here. They have lived here for many centuries, and they have a little settlement down the road from the visitor's center. You are invited to go visit them, and another time I'd like to just to admire people who have such amazing stamina and adaptability to have as their ancestral home such a forbidding environment. Their homes are clustered in an small oasis by Furnace Creek. There are green places in Death Valley. But they are outnumbered by the dry ones.


If you look carefully in the very center of this photo, you will see a tiny sign that says "Sea Level". As a visitor stands reading the information on the signs that overlook a vast white playa identified as Badwater, many other visitors are walking as they follow the boardwalk to its end out onto the saltbed. One of the instructions on the visitor information plaque is to look over your shoulder. There, high up the cliffs opposite of where you've parked your car is this sign that is easier to read standing there, than in my photo. It points out how high up the cliff you must go to get to sea level. You are standing at the lowest point in the contiguous United States: Badwater Basin--282 feet below sea level. Cool.

It would have been very daunting to stumble into this valley thinking you were almost to the ocean, or at least in the part of California where you could mine gold and have some neighbors, too. But some people finally found something to mine--borax--and while I don't know if it made anyone wealthy, it does make your laundry nice.
We'll go back to Death Valley. There are several roads that take you to a trail head where a short hike leads you to another fascinating nature effect. But, we'll go hiking next year in November or December. Here's one last amazing view: Zabriskie Point. It has no plant life, but it has vivid colors, textures and geology!



Sunday, March 16, 2008

Looking at Another View

I had some interesting insights to a couple of my most difficult students on Friday. Since we always dismiss the students 90 minutes early on Friday and have coordinated team meetings, I have just 45 minutes with each class. We often just do our spelling test or some other assessment, but this week, the last day before Spring Break began, I had a very casual day. There were at least five students missing from each class because no matter how much time you give people off for a holiday, there are always quite a few who take more than that. Anyway, our "job" was to create some simple Easter decorations for my friend who is the charge nurse at a nursing home. We made something for Christmas for all 60+ patients and so I decided to do something again for Easter--I copied some outlines of decorated eggs and every student got to color one and write a greeting on the back, then punch a hole in the end and hang it from yarn.

One child is quite lacking in impulse control. He snatches, he leaps out of his seat and asks later, he has to be first, he has to be #1 at all times and then moans and groans impatiently when he has to wait on others to take their turn. Apparently, at home the world revolves around him. When he finished the coloring part, he cut it out and then (literally) tossed it at me and said, "Here, finish it. I can't." All it meant was that he didn't know the steps to punch the hole, and choose a yarn piece, thread it through and tie a knot. I said, "No, you finish it. Here's what you do." I showed him a finished one and pointed out the items he'd need to do it.

Big Sigh...but then he picked it up and started to try. But--again--it took a couple of attempts, and he couldn't master the knot immediately. Again--give up, turn to leave, throw it at the mom figure to finish. No, I patiently showed him again how to roll the yarn around his finger and pull the ends through to make a knot. After three tries he suceeded. I realized that maybe no one in his world has ever insisted that he keep trying in the face of the impatient, shouting, Big Sigh--almost-a-tantrum, method he employs when he can't get it on the first attempt. Or maybe someone at home would always rather do it themselves because they are in a hurry, or want it done "right", or some other reason that eliminates the feeble attempts of the very young. In my experience, children's ability to do a job is in inverse proportion to their eagerness to do it. ie: a 3 year old LOVES to do dishes---12 year olds DON"T.

So, the next insight was with the Wild Monkey in a Cage: I helped him with something and asked where his mother lived (since I know he lives with Granny and dad.) "She didn't love me, so she left. And that's why I'm so bad---there's no one to show me love. A dad punishes you, a mother loves you." He declared all this in the tone of boy who has heard it over and over. So I said that he'd have to learn how to make good choices some other way then, huh? I don't spend enough time with him to have this new mantra repeated as often as the old one. However, I think I'll say it as often as possible anyway. It couldn't hurt!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

S-L-O-W-E-S-T Week of the Year

On Friday, March 14, at 3:43 P.M. I am officially on Spring Break. That is approximately 2 months away---according to the inner clock my brain is operating on this week. Every day this week has gone by so S-L-O-W-L-Y. All the other teachers agree with me on this. It isn't just me. The students came in on Monday in a coma because of the combination of Daylight Saving Time and the usual staying-up-too-late on the weekend. Then, as they've shaken off the sleepiness as the week wears on, they've become increasingly crazed. I'm just so glad we finished our BIG TEST last week. Some of the grades are testing this week and I feel sorry for them...

But, Friday will come, it always does. It'll be fun to not go to work for a few days. I am, however, having surgery on my right wrist for carpal tunnel repair. But, at least I'll get one week of no school with the cast. Only two weeks with it. Blah. But it'll be good to get this fixed.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Garden Lust

You've seen the cliche of the woman sitting in a store surrounded by pairs of shoes, buying several. Compulsive clothing shopping, jewelry accummulation, all those shop-aholic jokes. Well, I can forego department stores, no sweat. But tonight as I circled the garden department at Lowes I really had to force myself to stick to the list: tomatoes, basil, petunias, and pansies.

Look at those tulips!! And the daffodils!! Hanging pots of geraniums--which just wither and die here on my patio in the heat. Great big bowls of snapdragons, pansies and sweet williams---I have two big bowls already filled with succulents and herbs that can survive the summer. I don't have flower beds to fill with daisies and poppies. I don't have a pathway in which to plant alyssum so it will grow up between the paving stones. I don't live in San Diego where the bougainvillia can creep up over a trellis and live all winter.

If I go to a nursery for my bedding plants it's even worse. They have ten times the selection and they have little "idea garden spots" set up all over. You go in there for bag of fertilizer and get lost wandering through the fountain section thinking how wonderful some trickling water into a stone lined pool would sound in the evening. It could have big tufts of pampas grass growing beside a large boulder...and...and...

NO---just pick up your six tomato plants, two basil plants, the seed packs of beets, peas and pole beans and go quickly to the check out stand. You do not have the yard space for these other awesome effects. Besides, the focus of the landscape efforts and money this year must be on the front yard. It looks like an abandoned vacant lot out there under the palm trees. But, maybe the trickling "pond" (recirculating with a tiny pump) could be part of the remodel...hmmm. Let's go home and give it a look.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Weekly Summary

Weird week---several really terrific things that either aggravated me or were delightful happened but I CANNOT blog about them. Some of them have to do with test security at our school since we were taking the big state test this week. Some of them are just too personal. It's interesting how when something happens now, the first thing I want to do is blog. It's not like it's private or anything! So, some things just can't go here.

Here's a couple that can:
  • Is it just me, or is local TV news--in any city--the most vapid, obnoxious form of information available?
  • Don't you love chocolate covered orange sticks? I got a package for my birthday and they are simply delicious. I don't like any other kind of chocolate covered fruit, orange sticks are irresistable to me.
  • Whew--I don't know if you've heard about the medical clinic scandal here in Vegas, where a series of endoscopy clinics have been closed by the health dept and city because they re-used vials of medicine for more than one patient, thereby contaminating them with blood borne pathegens, but when I contacted my doctor about the location of my tests two years ago, they assured me that it wasn't there. Whew--several patients (over a four year period) have contracted Hepatitis C and B and they're waiting on the HIV tests. Whew.
  • I love spring: flowering trees, soft air, daylight lasting until 6:00 P.M.
  • Cats are such a great pet. They love you, and when you neglect them by staying away from home for 12 or more hours, they still love you.
  • It's time to garden! I get to plant tomatoes and beets and peas!

Sunday, March 02, 2008

I'm Going There Someday--Probably Thursday

I'm part of the Relief Society presidency in my ward, and we have a "Ladies Night Out" on alternating months when we go to the temple. The temple is three blocks from our ward boundary line so getting there is easy. In March we're going to do baptisms so that we can include women who have recently joined the Church or who haven't been to the temple officially yet. So today our president gave her lesson about temples and asked several people to participate. The bishop explained the process of the interview and what it involved for a regular recommend or a baptismal recommend. Then an older sister who was both divorced and then widowed (in her second marriage), and whose daughter and grandchildren (and husband), live in the ward spoke of her experience going to the temple her first time. She was motivated to go by this only daughter's upcoming wedding years ago.

I've known this woman for a couple of years and talked to her several times. Her husband's death was a tragic work accident. They were happily married and after years and years of single parent-hood, she felt so lucky to have had him come into her life. He was very accepting of her decision to go to the temple and even attended the preparation classes with her, despite not being a member of the Church himself. It was a very sweet story. And as she told of her experience of being in the temple, and how she was sealed to her parents that day too, because they'd finally become eligible to attend the temple themselves in their old age, everyone in the room was just overcome by the Spirit. There were tears trying to escape from my eyes for the rest of the lesson.

It reminded me of all the reasons I love the temple. I love that in the interview with my then-bishop for my first recommend (after thirteen years of marriage) I was able to finally set down the burden of all my past stupid mistakes. I remember them still, but they no longer eat away at me because I know forgiveness is real.

I love that when I finally got inside the temple that first time I had such a powerful spiritual witness of life after death and the reality of our eternal souls.

I love the way time ceases to function while I'm in the temple. I never look at my watch; it doesn't really matter what time it is--there is no time.

I love the way I can think clearly about different concerns I have in my life. Many times a clear solution to a serious student problem comes into my brain while I'm sitting there being still. I have repeatedly realized answers to concerns about my children or husband while in the temple. I once asked someone who had been a temple president several times if I should worry that my mind seems to wander during the session, or if the amazing insights that it wanders to are actually answers to my prayers. He stated that if I gained insights into problems that helped my life, and the lives of those I cared about, then I shouldn't consider it "mind-wandering" but "personal revelation". Hmmm.

I love the serenity of the temple. In two places where we've lived, the trip to the temple was about an hour long, and the last 4 or 5 miles of the journey was on one of the most congested, crazed part of the region's roadways. The contrast made the atmosphere of the temple interior even more sanctified. Interestingly, the temple is the rare place I go that I do not engage in conversation with others. I usually go on my own and so my talking is confined to quiet greetings and the ritual responses that are part of the ceremony. It is very restful and contributes to the rejunvenating effect of the experience.

The ironic part of living this close to the temple is that my attendance was more regular when I had to drive an hour and survive that ridiculous traffic. Since I don't have to plan it out carefully, I've been shocked to come to the end of a month and discover that I didn't go at all. Saturday comes and goes without my spending time in the temple. Each week night it seems something is on my schedule to prevent my attendance. So the only solution is to return to my planning of the past. I must choose a day and go without fail. I need the rejuvenation of the experience. I need the quiet communing with God. I need the regular service involved. It reminds me that life is just a little piece of the eternal picture and how important it is to keep that knowledge formost in my mind. It is easy to get cynical or lazy about spiritual things if you don't immerse yourself in spiritual events and the temple is an ideal place for that.